Nick Jonas has just dropped another bombshell on his unsuspecting fandom.  He’s been hinting at something big in his twitter lately, and now we know what it is.  According to the Daily Mail, Nick is going to be taking the role of Marius for a three week London run of Les Miserables.

Say what? 

Actually, this casting is not as “out there” as it may seem.  As anyone who knows Nick’s story knows, he played Gavroche (the spunky urchin) in Les Miserables for 9 months in 2003, among several other Broadway roles.  So Nicholas is not without theatre credentials.

I, however, have misgivings.  First, the role of Marius is light-years away from the role of Gavroche in terms of size and need for vocal prowess.  Marius is the Romantic Lead, and the Tenor. It’s a Big Role, and a tough one, and quite frankly, I’m not completely sure young Nick has the vocal chops.  And not only that, performing multiple shows a week is an exhausting grind, and Nick’s health can sometimes be precarious. Granted, Marius isn’t on stage for the first 1/3 of the show, but once he shows up, the story largely revolves around him.

 I’m figuring that Nick probably won’t carry all the performances.  In other words, he’ll have an understudy who’ll handle the low-profile shows, and he’ll basically play the weekends.  But even so, it will be a tour de force for Nick. 

Tour de force in more ways than one, because I think there are other, even bigger things afoot.  I’m going to go out on a limb and hypothesize that taking on this role at this time is something of an audition for Nick.  Or perhaps I should say a rehearsal, because I think that he’s being strongly considered to play Marius in the movie version that’s mentioned in the last paragraph of the Mail piece.  If he shows that he can cut it on stage, he’d be sitting pretty for the movie.  He’s already a Big Star, which will be something that the people shelling out the financing for the film will want to see.  And he’s the right age to play the role in a film, which 95% of the actors who have played the part on stage aren’t. 

And finally, I think he’s almost ideally suited to play Marius on film. Any vocal weakness can easily be compensated for, and he looks really perfect for the part.  Plus, and most importantly, Nick occupies that Magic Age of Dewy Youth and he’s got a built-in fan base smack in the middle of the tween/teen demographic.  And in case you hadn’t heard, movie-makers crave this ticket buying demographic even more than Edward Cullen craves hemoglobin.

All things considered, I’m going to be following this whole story avidly to see how it “plays” (get it?) out.  And I’ll certainly stand corrected if we’re seeing someone else on screen when the Les Miserables film project gets off the ground, if it ever does.  There are always lots of casting fake-outs before any big film is green-lighted.  You may not know it, but Once Upon A Time, Antonio Banderas was going to play The Phantom of the Opera.

True Story.

*Edit*:  In honor of Nick’s advent as Marius, my hubby, (cooldad) has been wearing my Mickey Mouse ears around the house all morning (mind you, they cover not even 1/3 of his head).  And the brilliance of Nick’s inclusion in the Les Miz pantheon has inspired us to round out what Cameron Mackintosh has already begun. Submitted for your consideration, our Les Miserables Disney Channel Dream Cast:

Appearing as various convicts, students, revolutionaries, low-lifes, prostitutes and other Miserable Ones (this is a translation, not a commentary!):  Jason Dolley, Jason Earles, David Henrie, Kevin Jonas, Sterling Knight, Mitchell Musso, Emily Osment, Debby Ryan, Cole Sprouse, Dylan Sprouse, and Tiffany Thornton.

I Can. Not. Wait.

*Edit #2*, 5/29/10 – This just in:  I have a line on Nick’s costar.  The role of Cosette will be played by Lucie Jones, a 19-year old X-Factor (think American Idol with UK dialects) finalist.  Interestingly, she has an amazing voice, but not a true Soprano one, much more of a mezzo/belt voice, a la Demi Lovato (she even sang This Is Me one week on the show). 

Apparently, she auditioned for the role of Eponine, but in the end Cameron Mackintosh decided against her, I’m guessing because she doesn’t have the right personality for the role (not enough fire).  Instead, he has cast her as Cosette.

This is actually really good news for Nick Jonas.  Lucie Jones is a lucky girl who came from obscurity in Cardiff, Wales, to fame only recently.   Of the two of them, he will be the professional.  Her pop-style voice should mesh much more nicely with his than if he was singing with some highly trained Soprano.  And, given both their vocal ranges, I’m suspecting there might even be some discreet key lowering, which will benefit both of them.

And what a beautiful pair they will make on stage! The paparazzi will have a field day with this co-starring, methinks!

[Via: http://www.flickr.com/photos/36656133@N06/3516246668/ (photo) and TheXFactorUK (video)]

Awwwww.  Joe and Demi broke up.  Or rather, decided to stop force feeding us the surrealationship.  Kind of surprising though, weren’t they supposed to do that after the tour/CD/movie happens?  That’s all still to come for Camp Rock 2. What gives?

All I can figure is that the Jonas Group has operated with their usual stellar handling or Demi must have become so obnoxious that Joe couldn’t stand it anymore.  And he had my sympathy; it was getting really embarrassing how she just wouldn’t shut up.  Apparently, no one bothered to tell her that this was strictly for the cameras, because she seemed to think it was for real.  Or maybe she knew it was for show, but was just “acting the part” with her usual subtlety and finesse. Either way, I’m glad we will no longer be subjected to the whole mishegas and have to look at any more pictures of Joe being clutched by Demi and looking like he’d pay any amount of money to be Raptured right out from under her.

What that the most ham-handed, pathetic, tacky PR stunt or what? On the Cringe-O-Meter: A big fat 10.

Via: [JonasPhotos.Org (photo)]

Oh yeah.

“We Love Our Fans” is clearly the mantra these days for the Jonas Group.  Because if I’ve heard Nick Jonas say it once in the past month I’ve heard it 20 times.  And well he should love his fans, since the fans certainly love him and his brothers.  They picked up the tab on Nick’s solo venture and will likely turn out for the Disney Owns Jonas Brothers and Is Bankrolling Their World Tour 2010 In Order to Plug Camp Rock 2 tour.  Mayhap not in the great numbers of tours past, it remains to be seen if economics or attrition will affect the numbers of tickets sold.  But, the boys are leaving nothing to chance here; they want the fans to know that every dime they expect you to shell out is appreciated.  Operation Woo the Faithful is in full swing.

The band appeared on Good Morning America this morning, kicking off their summer concert series.  The boys sang several songs on their own, and one with Demi Lovato.  The videos can be seen here. 

My assessments of the songs are in no particular order, because I didn’t watch the show proper, so don’t know what order in which they were performed.

LA Baby – is  from the soundtrack for JONAS-LA.  The crowd went nuts for this song, though I’m not sure if that was because they love the song or they were just ecstatic to hear some new Jonas Brothers music.  I know I was ecstatic at the thought of a new song…until I heard it.  I really dislike the studio version of this song, and find it to be as overproduced, schlocky, and derivative as the Jonas Brothers have always been accused of being, but never actually were until this song.  The live version however, is somewhat better, because you can hear Joe. Cringe-O-Meter:  4, because the song is still lame, if infinitesimally less so, live.

Burnin’ Up – What can I say about this song?  I mean, I love this song, we all love this song, and it’s a great song.  But I’ve heard it a lot!  Cringe-O-Meter: 2, because Big Rob might hurt me otherwise.

Please Be Mine – Best part of the concert, IMO.  And a completely blatant “Bone Tossed to Loyal Old Fans.”  But I’ll take it, because they at least did it right:  they worked it up, rehearsed it and did it justice. Cringe-O-Meter: 1, because I love this song.

Can’t Back Down – I was the most interested to see this little ditty, as the Unveiling of the PR Blitzkrieg for Camp Rock 2.  My impressions:

1. Demi was really wor. kin. it.  Striding the stage in her Come **** Me boots, spitting out those ludicrous lyrics without missing a syllable (excellent diction, that), looking like a dominatrix, or a drag queen, or both.  I don’t think we’re in Disneyland anymore, Toto.
2. There were dancers, just like I knew there would be!  Dressed in a preponderance of plaid.  That seems to be the color-scheme of choice for the “good” camp.
    
3. It was bizarre and awkward for me to see the Jonas Brothers relegated to backing band.  Except for Nick, natch, who managed to place himself strategically center.  I’ll be very interested to see what the staging and singing setups are for this tour.  I’m wondering if Nick will be content to stay down on the farm of stage right when he’s been to the Paree of center stage…

Cringe-O-Meter:  For sticking the brothers in the back, 5. For the dancers outfits, 6. For Demi, 8 because if I go higher, she might hex me.

All in all an excellent beginning to a summer of cheesy, Campy (and I mean that in every sense of the word), fun!

[Via: MTV.com (photo)]

The Jonas Brothers did a press interview recently.  The interview is fairly typical (we’re blessed to do what we do, we love our fans, etc.) though it does include an interesting conversation about how Nick “would rule” Celebrity Apprentice if he were on it, though the reasons given aren’t terribly compelling.  If anyone is interested, the entire interview’s transcript is here.  But what stood out to me are two moments, which I’ll quote after a jump:

Q: Who would be your dream costar?

Nick Jonas: Daniel Craig.

Joe Jonas: Daniel Craig.

Kevin Jonas: Daniel Craig.

Q: Wow, it’s unanimous. What is it about Daniel Craig?

Joe Jonas: Because he’s a strong example of what a man should be.

Um…Joseph.  Honey.  You need to tone down your Daniel Craig crush.  It’s going to start making people uncomfortable–if it hasn’t already.  Just sayin’…

Reading on:

Nick Jonas: He’s pretty unbelievable. We actually just met him for the telethon for Haiti relief and it was our first time meeting him. We were all a bit star struck. He was incredible.

Joe Jonas: He’s 007, you know.

Q: I don’t think he took the purity pledge though.

Joe Jonas: Ha ha, that’s really funny.

Kevin Jonas: Did you?

Q: No.

Kevin Jonas: Oh cool, I’ll ask you about your sexual life next time.

Booyah Kevin!  He seems to be serving notice here, and all crude-minded reporters should take note:  Kevin Jonas has done the deed.  He will no longer take sh*t from any of you for being a virgin.  And apparently, he will not sit by while his brother takes sh*t either.  Way to go, Big Bro.

I think Kevin’s a strong example of what a man should be.

Via: [JonasPhotos.Org (photo)]

OMCR2!

I was excited to see the trailer for Camp Rock 2 when it premiered on Sunday, May 1, a mere Four (!) Months before the air date of the movie, which is September 3.  And may I say, it did not disappoint.  Not only did it cause me to resurrect Coolmom’s Cringe-O-Meter, a device I created to quantify the level of embarrassment caused by cheesy entertainment (see Sidebar for complete guide), but it exceeded even my wildest hopes in terms of potential Badness So Bad as to Be Great.  Going out on a limb, I’m going to rank Camp Rock 2 as a solid 5 on the meter, based simply on what I saw in the trailer.  But really, given how Bad the first Camp Rock was, the sky’s the limit here.

You’ll see what I mean after the jump…

As best as I can piece together from the frenzied jump cuts, there are not one but two music camps this go around, Camp Rock ,the one attended by Our Friends the Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, et al and a new camp, Camp Star.  Camp Rock is the “good” camp and Camp Star is the “mean, soulless” camp, as clearly evidenced by all the black leather its attendees were wearing.  There seems to be some kind of skullduggery being practiced (natch), there is a competition (I’m going to take a shot in the dark and say it’s the Final Jam…) wherein said skullduggery will be perpetrated, and there seems to be some kind of conflict between Joe Jonas’ and Demi Lovato’s characters.  They were emoting together (again, I’m going to take a wild guess and prophesy that they will break up and reunite over the course of the movie).

But what really got me excited was the moments which I had not even anticipated.  To wit:

There were lots of scenes with kids dancing while wearing expressions of “srs bsns.”  Kind of like a hip-hop Riverdance in terms of high-steppin’ footwork meets high-falutin’ purpose that’s so much more meaningful than mere choreography.  Dude, the *intensity* gave me heart palpitations. Or maybe it was the burrito I had for dinner…

At 1:09 Demi Lovato says with all the plucky courage of which she is capable, obviously exhorting her camp-mates to gather their plucky courage and not let the evil minions of Camp Star win:  “This is our summer.” Oh the deliciousness of how close that is to Gabriella Montez saying in High School Musical 2:  “But you’re messing with my friends and my summer and that’s not ok with me.” This is absolutely High School Musical Goes to Summer Camp.  Right down to the dialogue!

We’ve heard rumors of a Romeo & Juliet-esque relationship between Nick Jonas and actress Chloe Bridges (who plays a new character this go-around, some relation to Camp Star).  At 1:38 we see evidence of this, because look out:  Nick is A-C-T-I-N-G.  With a capital ACT.  Oh yeah, we are in for some scenery chewing from Nick J. here.  Can. Not. Wait.

Actually, given all this and other bits of tawdry wonderfulness with which Disney is sure to bombard us over the next Four(!) Months, I may have been too conservative in my assessment of the cringe potential.

When all’s said and done, I may have to come up with a whole new scale!

[via: Youtube/MsBestofJonas (video), fancypix/wordpress.com (photo)

Vindication is sweet.  Or in this case bittersweet with an emphasis on the bitter, because I’m not savoring the taste of this correct call that I made way back when Nick Jonas went solo.  At that time, I predicted that the Jonas Brothers, either as a band or as a brand, would never again be anything but a means to a Disney/Jonas Group moneymaking end.  I sensed it, my gut told me it was coming, and I hated it. And what do you know, here we are.

Lots more to say after the jump…

The Jonas Brothers have long been a punch line.  They have long been seen as a Disney Creation.  But I always thought of them as more than that, and they themselves always seemed to be striving for more than that.  They seemed to be a young band that were using the platform which was available to them, but were somehow above all the mass-marketing of mediocrity that is the hallmark of the Disney Music milieu.  Or at least they seemed to want more for themselves, seemed to be artists who were destined for more, beyond their allotted span of Heartthrob-dom.  They certainly claimed so time and time again.  And indeed, their music was better, their talent was better, they themselves seemed to be better than the pack in which they resided. So I, perhaps naively in hindsight, believed that they were not staying with Disney solely for the money they could reap.  Lately however, I’m beginning to feel foolish, because more and more it seems that the Jonas Brothers are every bit as interested as Disney is in cashing in.  If that’s not true, then why is their new tour named Jonas Brothers World Tour 2010/Camp Rock 2 Tour? WTF? It might just as well have been called Disney Owns Jonas Brothers and Is Bankrolling Their World Tour 2010 In Order to Plug Camp Rock 2. 

To be honest, I don’t know why I’m surprised.  Because that’s just the sort of relationship Disney has always had with them.  It was always about trying to turn the Jonas Brothers into something that Disney had already made an obscene amount of money from, and hoping lightening would strike twice.  But I just never wanted to believe that Kevin, Joe and Nick were only interested in that too.  Even when the Mouse King tried to turn them into Hannah Montana with male genitalia, I was certain that the boys themselves knew better, and only wanted the opportunity to write and play music that was true to who they were.  But now I wonder if perhaps I was just taken in by their prodigious charm and “we’re just three guys from Jersey living the dream” self-deprecation and failed to see that the band of brothers was only ever about securing the exchequer for future Jonas Generations.  A noticeable lack of new music from them lately has me wondering.  It appears that Nick might be the only one who gets to make new music (with his new band, The Administration, though that may be a one-off given his solo CD’s lukewarm sales– His Mouseness is not amused by lukewarm sales) and that Kevin and Joe are happy to sing the old stuff ad infinitum, act in their TV series and spend the rest of their time working on…what exactly?  We hear rumors of music writing from Kevin and Joe, but I’m getting less and less inclined to believe in them. I mean, how would they even find the time, what with their heavy shopping, tweeting, vacationing, working out, and dating schedules?   And perhaps even that’s part of a grand scheme, to ultimately ease all three brothers out of having to make any music at all.  Someday no one will really remember that they ever did anything else but simply be sort-of-famous.  After all, groups of siblings have built entire careers on far less:  what about the Simpson Sisters, the Hudson Brothers, and my personal favorites, the Gabors?

I know, I know, perhaps I’m being too hard on the boys.  After all, why should they be any different or better than scores of other young, gorgeous, rich kids in Hollywood, just because I thought they were?  Clearly the fault is mine, for buying into their nobler-than-the-average young, gorgeous, rich kids’ image without looking too deeply at who was ultimately getting the payoff.  I always thought Kevin, Joe and Nick were somehow putting up with Disney as a means to an end, but perhaps all along they were really singing M-I-C-K-E-Y all the way to the bank.

 Lately, though their trips to the money vault must be undertaken to the strains of another soundtrack, as the Mouse King is now doing one heck of a rain dance in an attempt to draw sufficient voltage to turn Camp Rock 2 into High School Musical with Guitars instead of Basketballs. We’ve had the unveiling of the Joe & Demi (or Jemi if you prefer, though I’ve always been partial to Demoe myself) relationship (or whatever it is) and are now being pummeled with it.  Joe and Demi are clearly supposed to be Zac and Vanessa–alright, I get it already.  I just wish Joe looked like he was having a better time, I’d feel more comfortable with the pimpage.  Demi at least looks happy, though whether that’s because she’s madly in love with Joe, or just madly in love with the idea that if Camp Rock 2 blows up she’ll finally be more than a Disney second-tier stalwart, I can’t say. 

And this concert tour is certainly a golden opportunity for the rest of the Camp Rock 2 cast.  All those poor supporting kids who’ve been stuck in Disney b-list purgatory since Camp Rock are going to be touring the world singing numbers from both Camp Rock movies, finally getting to strut their stuff.  Does this scenario sound familiar to anyone else?  Perhaps you are not the proud owner of a High School Musical: The Concert DVD, but I am.  I’ve been there, done that with my kids, and I know what this Camp Rock 2 concert will be like.  No more microphone stands for the Jonas boys, good thing they already have those wireless mikes they bought for last year’s tour.  Who knows, maybe they’ll even ditch those pesky guitars so that they can dance! 

But I have news for the Liege Rodent.  All the hype in the world, and believe me over the next Four (!) Months that’s what we’ll be subjected to, will still not turn Camp Rock2 into High School Musical 1, 2, or 3.  Nor will all the Live Chats in the world, with the brothers oh-so-sincerely telling us that this concert will still be AN AWESOME JONAS BROTHERS SHOW WORTH EVERY PENNY, make me believe them.  If Kevin, Joe and Nick honestly think I’m going to shell out $90+ to see them sing old music and Camp Rock tunes , then they’re not the shining examples of the benefits of homeschooling their mother wants them to be.  Nope, I think I’ll have to give the Jonas/Camp Rock tour a miss.  The basically ho-hum nature of Camp Rock’s story, characters and music cannot be compensated for, even by as much money as I’m sure will be thrown at this concert’s production values.  And since I’ve been listening to the Jonas Brothers old music for more than 2 years now, what is there, really, I would want to see? 

But I’m not terribly worried that it’s my last chance to see the Jonas Brothers in concert.   I’ll just wait a little while, and I’m sure I can catch them once they open their theatre in Branson, MO.  That way, after I see them, I can see Bill Medley, Jim Stafford and Yakov Smirnoff too.

[via: Fanpop.com (photo)]

So the Jonas Brothers and I both went to church today.  I went to my home church and I also tuned in online to Saddleback Church’s (the author of The Purpose Driven Life, Pastor Rick Warren’s Southern California mega-church) Easter service from Angel’s Stadium, at which the Jonas Brothers were guests.  I was intrigued when I heard they were playing.  Lots of kids will go anywhere to hear the Jonas Brothers do almost anything, and they have to bring a parent or two.  Ergo, lots of people to hear the Easter Message.  I’m down with that, I’m a believer myself and though Pastor Warren is a little too Evangelical for my theological taste (I’m a Presbyterian) I’m always happy when people who might not otherwise hear the Good News have an opportunity to do so.  That’s something that can happen on Easter, and it’s great when it does.

The Jonas Brother’s set was short, not surprisingly, coming as it did at the end of a lengthy service.  And their song choices were somewhat surprising to me, and yet not.  They played acoustic guitars in their classic “Jonas” set-up of three across on third base.   Nick even quipped that being on third base at Angel’s Stadium was a personal dream come true for him (not surprising to any of us who know what a baseball lover he is).  The first song was Hold On which seemed not an obvious choice, but it was, I suppose, in keeping with the idea of hope in adversity, which was the overall theme of Pastor Rick Warren’s remarks.  Next followed Nick’s personal testimony song A Little Bit Longer, which was written about his struggle with Type I Diabetes.  This song was not a surprise, and is certainly relevant to having hope despite being in a tough situation, being obedient to God’s will no matter how difficult it is, and choosing to make personal difficulty a means by which to inspire and educate others and hopefully do some good in the world.  The last song was Gotta Find You, and I was completely perplexed at this choice until Joe Jonas informed us that the song’s writer was a member of Saddleback Church.  This is true, one of the song’s writer is Adam Watts, who has written many, many songs for Disney movies, including two for the Jonas Brother’s movie Camp Rock:   Gotta Find You and This is Me.  So apparently that’s the connection between the Jonas Brothers and Saddleback Church.

The brothers looked very nice and churchy in some very nice suits and ties (I’m guessing they were the most dressed up people there, even Pastor Rick wore jeans and converse).  And they performed beautifully, like they know how.  I would be curious to hear the numbers of people who turned in the request-for-more-information forms from the program or elected to be baptized following the service in one of the four pools immediately outside the park.  Maybe the numbers will be big, and that’s great, because I’m sure that’s what Saddleback Church is hoping for.  And I’m certainly not going to deny Pastor Warren’s obvious sincerity and passion.  But honestly, I personally found the service curiously unmoving.  It was obviously intended to move non-believers to belief, so perhaps I’m just not the target audience here, since I’m a believer already.  And perhaps it did move many non-believers to belief, maybe you had to be there, and it was the fact that I was watching online that left me feeling curiously separated from an emotional connection to the events.

But that is not always the case, for just this last week I watched something of a religious nature online which had me sobbing and reaching for my Bible in the middle of the week-day, no less.  It was a showing of the movie Amish Grace, which was made for Lifetime Movie Network, and shown on their website.  Now I’d never try to convince anyone that Lifetime Movie Network is any great purveyor of art and taste, much less spiritual enlightenment.  This would an impossibly tough sell, and also impossible for me to accomplish straight-faced.   But believe it or not, this movie was artful, tasteful, and spiritually enlightening, not to mention genuinely moving, evocative, and powerful in its theological truth. 

The movie is a dramatization of the events surrounding the 2006 Amish school house shooting in Nickel Mines, PA.  The movie did not focus on the shooting itself, the shooter was never on screen, nor was the shooting itself in any way dramatized.  Instead, the movie focused on the aftermath of the shooting, specifically in regards to the families’ of the victims complete forgiveness of the shooter himself, their forgiveness of and reaching out to the shooter’s widow and family, and the affect the whole event had.  The film’s central character was one mother who struggled mightily to do as the rest of the families do, and initially refused to forgive, even to the point of considering leaving her community.  Ultimately the mother re-embraces her faith and comes to forgive. 

I was literally sitting in front of my computer in tears, so deeply did I relate to the idea that while the power and necessity of forgiveness is perhaps the most important thing God ever asks us to do, it is at the same time the most difficult, especially in the face of such a wrong as murder.  But forgiveness is at the crux of being a Christian, for how can I accept God’s unconditional forgiveness of my wrong-doings, if I can’t offer that forgiveness to others?  Heavy stuff, especially for mid-morning on a Tuesday.  But hey, I figure anything that takes me out of my complacent sense that faith is something that’s designed to make my petty little life more comfortable and easier to deal with and has me questioning, probing and searching through scripture for answers is a good thing.  Regardless if it stars Kimberly Williams-Paisley and shows on Lifetime Movie Network.  God does indeed work in mysterious ways.

So while I didn’t find Saddleback Church’s Easter service to be a powerful thing, I’m sure many did.  And many people I’m sure wouldn’t find this movie to be as mind-blowing as I did.  To each their own.  I’m a firm believer in spiritual growth happening in the time it’s meant to, if it’s meant to happen at all.  I spent enough years as a doubting, skeptical, non-church-goer to know the truth of that.

And what of my visit to the Easter Service at my own church today?  It was somewhere in the middle for me, more moving and powerful than the service in the stadium, not as emotional or difficult as my private film viewing.  And that’s good, not only because stereotypically Presbyterians get mighty uncomfortable when people sob and carry on in church.  My church is very un-stiff and casual for a Presbyterian church, if someone was moved to cry, people would roll with it.  It’s good because while a mountain-top experience is great, it’s not where my real work of living my faith gets done.  That happens in the day-to-day of slogging through the little miseries of life:  like trying to convincing my younger daughter that just once she could wear a dress to church, making sure I don’t burn the casserole I’m taking to the between-services brunch, or figuring out how I’m going to find time to write the scripts for the Vacation Bible School teaching dramas in my copious—not spare time.   This is where I am right now, where I need to meet my faith and where I need my faith to meet me.  And my pastor spoke to that eloquently this morning.  He reminded me what there is in today’s News that will be there in the kind of harrowing times I took a mercifully brief look at on Tuesday, and also in the not-so-harrowing but very often tedious times that usually fill up my days.  And for that, I’m grateful. 

So Happy Easter to the Jonas Brothers, and everyone else.  May everyone find a sense of hope from somewhere on this day, and carry it onward.   

[Via:  ocregister.com (Photo)]

I beg you.

Yeah I watched Jon & Kate Plus 8 occasionally.  What of it?  I even kind of liked her uptight, slightly-to-the-left-of-Joan-Crawford parenting style, because by comparison I seem like a calm, well-balanced parent.  And isn’t that why we ever watch reality TV anyway?  So we can feel superior in our knowledge that no matter how screwed up we are, we’re not as screwed up as those people on TV!

Kate had my sympathy when she was the harried mom of 8.  She had it, though only by the thinnest thread, when she screamed at her children in Disney World for getting ice-cream on their shirts.  She lost it completely when she banished her upchucking son to lie alone and whimpering on the cold tile floor of the laundry room so he wouldn’t make a mess.  And during all the cheating/break-up brouhaha and the subsequent reveal of the truly douche bag nature of Jon, I re-delegated a soupçon of sympathy for her, the rest all went to the children and there it has stayed.

It was with shock and appall that I greeted the news of her tenure as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars.  And my fears have been more than realized by her truly painful-to-watch routines these last two weeks.  This is a woman with absolutely nothing to offer in terms of musical sense or dancing ability.  I’d rather watch Chloris Leachman dance than Kate Gosselin, and that’s saying something. I am flat out embarrassed for her.  And I’m embarrassed for myself for watching.  But it’s a train-wreck fascination I have with Kate nowadays.  I simply can’t look away from whatever will be her next desperate attempt at earning money for doing essentially nothing except having given birth to 8 children once upon a time. 

And my sensibilities will just have to continue being assaulted for a while longer, because I don’t think we’ll be bidding adieu to Kate anytime soon.  The ratings for her portion of the performance show this past Monday were boffo.  And voting, schmoting, wherever the voting places her won’t matter in the least, because the producers will keep her around as long as people want to tune in to watch her flail…er…I mean dance.

But hey, things could be looking up.  According to E!online, next week we might get a dance themed around the divorce!  I think that story might have been a joke.  Or at least I hope it was, but given this woman’s pathological need to exhibit every tawdry aspect of her life for as many people as will watch, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Jon-and-Kate-Divorce-Dance comes to pass.

I can’t wait to see what Bruno says about it.

 [Via:  msnbc.com (Photo)]

Man, it must have sucked to be Nick Jonas at Nickelodeon’s Kids Choice Awards last Saturday night.  There he was nominated for two awards, neither of which he won.  But to add several insults to this injury:

• He was an obvious fifth wheel with his brothers Kevin and Joe, who were each there with their wife and girlfriend respectively.  And while it’s true that his brothers also lost the awards for which they were nominated, at least they had the prospect of a little consolatory sugar from their gals to render their evenings not a total loss.  Not so poor Nick.  I felt for him, plunked in the audience between two cuddling couples, watching Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez—not one, but two of his ex-girlfriends or publicity-generated hook-ups, take your pick—get awards.

• And those ladies looked hot, which by the way, Nick did not, particularly.  His suit and bow-tie seemed natty enough, but the dark shoes appeared a questionable choice.  His aviator glasses were pretty cool, but his hair seemed bushy and like it was trying to hard—he could use a cut.  I’ve never been more certain that the Jonas Brothers have parted ways with their stylist.  All three of the brother’s ensembles last night were less than stellar, truth be told.  If letting their stylist go has been an economy measure, I’m sure they have their reasons, but they need to at least renew their subscription to GQ.

• But perhaps economizing is the way to go for Nicholas, because the last and most bitter sign that the times have changed came when he had to sit through Justin Beiber’s performance and hear the hysterical screaming that just one short year ago was all for him.  I am less than thrilled by Master Beiber myself, but that matters not, because my daughters, your daughters, and many, many, many other daughters think he is “totally hot and has it going on.”  And while his music is not my cup of tea, I’m astute enough to understand that this pretty boy with the pretty voice who can sing hip-hop, no less, with enough credibility to pass muster with Usher et. al. and a host of school girls is destined to be massive.  I can only imagine the wailing and gnashing of teeth in the inner sanctums of the Mouse King, as he agonizes over owning no part of this particular Big Thing.  Because Big Thing Justin Beiber is, make no mistake, until his voice changes or two years passes, whichever comes first.

 However, at least Nick was in good company last night as he heard the bell tolling and read the handwriting on the wall.  He could commiserate with Jesse McCartney, for whom Nick had opened back in the day, when Jesse was the Big Thing and Nick and his brothers were the Next.  Jesse could have perhaps offered some career advice to Nick as he picked up his award for his work in Alvin and the Chipmunks 2:  The Squeakquel. 

Voice-overs, Nick.  Something to aspire to perhaps, to avoid another shut-out at next year’s awards? 

 [Via:  JonasPhotos.Org (Photos)]

What’s that I hear?  The hate mail starting up at the sacrilege of suggesting there are other worthy holiday films besides It’s a Wonderful Life?

If you’re not too angry, you can…

Hey, don’t get me wrong, Gentle Readers, I’m not knocking IAWL.  Far from it, I think Frank Capra is a genius and the film in unquestionably a black and white classic.  But how many of you out there have actually sat through the film, in its entirety, from beginning to end?  And by in its entirety, I mean all 130 minutes of it—uncut thank you very much.  That’s right, I said 130 minutes, and trust me on this, because I have done so.  Moreover, might I remind you, there isn’t even any music in this movie, unless you count the dance scene in the beginning.  But hey, for those of you who have 130 extra minutes to spend in leisurely, angst-ridden character study during the holiday season, have at it.  Just wake me up when you’re done.

However, if you’re looking for a holiday film to watch that isn’t as long, or with a bit more shall we say, bounce, then I’ve got a list at which you might want to take a gander.

White Christmas (1954) – Running Time:  120 Minutes

I know it’s still a solid two hours, but trust me, there’s music and laughs along the way.  This is a tawdrily wonderful old musical starring Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney, and Vera-Ellen.  White Christmas joyfully occupies that happy place between cornball fun and painful awfulness, a place inhabited by far fewer of those “great” old musicals then That’s Entertainment would lead you to believe.  The score is chock-full of tunes by Irving Berlin, and isn’t any slouch.

The plot is razor thin–involving show-biz wunderkinds Crosby and Kaye helping the commanding officer who brought them safely through WWII when his ski lodge is in trouble and romancing sister-act Clooney and Vera-Ellen along the way–but so what?  Der Bingle croons, Rosemary Clooney flexes her great pipes, Vera-Ellen’s toes twinkle, and Danny Kaye does his Danny Kaye-thing (if you’re a fan, you know what I mean.) In addition, you can relish in the unintentionally hilarious sight of a 51-year old Bing Crosby and a 41-year old Danny Kay cavorting around like teenagers-in-heat, it’s a hoot.  There are one or two dogs among the musical numbers, (Choreography and Gee, I Wish I was Back in the Army) which would have been better on the cutting room floor, but hey, that’s what the “Next” button is for.  And there are ample great moments (Sisters, The Best Things Happen While You’re Dancing, Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep, Love–You Didn’t Do Right by Me).  This last, a barnburner featuring Ms. Clooney at her bluesy-yet-virginal best, is dead-on, and Rosie brings it.  Great stuff.

But of course, the crowning moment is at the end of the film, when all hands join in a full-scale production number of the title tune.  There’s enough red velvet, fake snow and heart-string-tugging emotion to float an ocean liner, and if you don’t love it and want to take off immediately for a borderline-defunct ski lodge in Vermont, you are without a soul.

 Scrooge (1970) – Running Time:  113 Minutes

See, now, you’re already shaving 17 minutes off your required watching time with this little gem, and it boasts classic literature as its source material, so smarty-points for that.  It’s based, of course, on Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol.  However, it is a musical adaptation, and an authentically British one at that.  Albert Finney is pitch-perfect here as everyone’s favorite miser (he won a Golden Globe for the role).  And there’s a lovely, dated, Victoriana-cum-Carnaby Street/Twiggy look to the production, wherein even street urchins wear teased hair and eyeliner, which is retro-cool-ly fun.  The score isn’t a great one, and might even be a bit too Leslie Bruicusse-y for some tastes, but it is very traditionally English, and is extremely successful at inhabiting the world of the film.  The acting from the all-British cast is uniformly fine, and all in all, I declare this film an underappreciated little gem, and worth the extra effort it may take to find.  Parents should note that there is a scene involving the Ghost of Christmas Yet-to-Come, which may be too intense for young kids.  While it may be on the DVD, it’s usually edited out of TV airings.

Meet Me in St. Louis – Running Time:  113 Minutes

OK, OK, so this isn’t a Holiday Movie, per se.  It takes place over the course of a year.  But c’mon, the film genesis of Judy Garland singing the original version of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas makes the cut as far as I’m concerned.  This is an absolutely gorgeous film, directed by the great Vincent Minnelli, and boasts the talents of not only Judy, but also Leon Ames, Mary Astor, Margaret O’Brien, and the always-brilliant Marjorie Main.  The score is fun and perfectly suited to the story with some real standout numbers (The Boy Next Door and The Trolley Song) besides that Christmas Anthem we all know and love.  This movie is on my personal all-time favorite movies list.  It’s a perfect example of a first-rate period piece, an excellent film about family life; it’s funny, touching, rings completely true and is just a delight all around.  If you have never seen this film, remedy that situation immediately.

The Shop Around the Corner – Running Time:  99 Minutes

Last but not least, if your holiday season just won’t be complete without watching James Stewart in a black and white movie, you can’t go wrong with this jewel of a film.  He is at his stammering, delicious, gawky best here, and the radiant Margaret Sullavan is feisty, vulnerable, and divine.  Director Ernst Lubitsch brings a European, whimsical quality to this never-dated story of perfumery co-workers who despise each other on sight, not realizing that they are in fact falling in love via anonymous letters, which they are writing to each other.  And by all means, if you’ve ever suffered the misfortune of sitting through You’ve Got Mail with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, do yourself a favor and remove its taint by viewing this, the original, and far superior, source.  But very best of all, you can see this entire movie and still have 31 minutes of holiday prep time that It’s a Wonderful Life would have taken from you.

Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about.

 [Via:  TVGuide.com, RosemaryClooney.com, cedmagic.com, wadeonbirmingham.com, classicfilmpreview.com  (Photos)]